June 21, 2013

ontario weather 101

If there's one thing I've learned about the seasons in Ontario it's that you can't trust the seasons in Ontario. They're unpredictable, unreliable and basically do whatever the hell they want.

In Floridian grade school we learned the following:

Winter is November, December and January.
Spring is February, March and April.
Summer is May, June, and July.
Autumn is August, September and October.

I'm not sure what they teach kids in Ontario about the seasons, but I do know enough not to trust today's Google Doodle heralding the first official day of summer.


I moved here in the middle of January and like clockwork it began snowing as soon as I stepped outside. Welcome to Canada! Now go buy a freaking coat.

I imagined it was only snowing so that Bobby and I could walk hand-in-hand down a glistening sidewalk. We requested a window seat at a local Thai restaurant and marveled at the white glitter blanketing the ground. It didn't occur to me that this may be the beginning of a four-month battle: me versus a never-ending winter.

Fast forward to April. I'm in our bedroom - nervous, skittish - wondering if it's a huge mistake to vacuum seal our winter coats for fear another unexpected bout of bitter cold. I've grown paranoid and mistrustful of the weatherman on my TV who tells me that it's safe to go outside without gloves. LIES!

Turns out, I was right to be skeptical. May rolled in with flowers blooming, geese returning and children daring to bare their heads without toques.

A perfect spring day in early May.
Then it hailed. Then it snowed on May 12th and I realized that, although my gloves would stay on a bit longer, all bets were off.

Following that freak flurry there were two straight weeks of rain and soul-crushing humidity. That was spring in Ontario.

And now, mid-June, the temperature dances along the 80/85 degree line, then drops to the mid 70s once the sun goes down. The locals call this summer.

Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful weather - warm enough midday to drink iced coffee and wear sandals while running errands, yet cool enough in evening to wear a light sweater while walking the dog. Last night Bobby and I took a stroll with Maple and the cool, breezy air was fragrant with the scent of freshly bloomed flowers. It was lovely and exactly how I imagined summer in Ontario would be.

But I'm no fool. I won't be the least bit surprised if it hails this afternoon. And I'd be okay if it did - I've got my rain boots at the ready and a backup winter coat hanging in the closet. I'm prepared for whatever the Ontario weather gods want to throw at me. Bring it on, summer.

3 comments:

  1. A very precise account of the weather, but I must say it gets even more unpredictible by just driving one hour in any direction from the GTA. This is a fun read, even if the topic is not fun at all!
    By the way, we have a heat alert for tomorrow. I am laughing at that one :)

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    Replies
    1. I checked out The Weather Channel and they're predicting a high of 83. That ain't heat! These weathermen boggle my mind.

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  2. You're exactly right. As Canadians, we accept it but it is truly ridiculous. I never completely put away my winter clothes. :)

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